My Invisible Husband

Any teacher will tell you that kids are OBSESSED with whether or not you are married. Usually in the States when I am asked this question, my non-marital status forces me to inform the curious ankle biter that I am not in fact married. I tend to get reactions such as "then how do you have a job" "but you're soooo old" "does this mean you live with your parents" from children with no verbal filter. One student wanted to hook me up with his newly divorced father and proceeded to call me his new step mother for the rest of the year. However I had one student today......

child: Jenni Teacher, you married. (I end with a period because he was in fact making a statement not asking the question)

me: Does it look like I have a wedding ring on? (I choose to formulate a question)

child: Your wedding ring is invisible.

me: (gesturing to my right hand side) Well yes, then I guess I am married and this here is my invisible husband who is an exact replica of Daniel Craig.

child: you married Michael Jackson (again, not sure whether question or statement)

me: You know who Michael Jackson is???? (shocked since he is about 6 years old, quite impressed as well)

child: YES!!!! He is this...(at this point he sucks his cheeks in and presses on his nose emulating the very essence of the king of pop)

me: (intense laughter mixed with a bits of spit as I was caught completely off guard) HA!

This is why I teach.