The things I have seen part one....

Nothing like seeing a really old, hunched woman with no teeth wearing a shirt that says "Single and really ready to mingle." My guess is that she doesn't know a word of English.

Taxi Cab Tales: Part Two

The other day I climbed into a cab very early in the morning, ready to mentally check out and attempt to crawl out of my comatose state. After handing the energetic cab driver a paper with my destination of choice on it he then barks at me

"English Teacher?"

I respond in my pathetic Korean "Nay" which in turns results in an uproar of laughter as if I had said something so positively hilarious the only result would be to piss ones pants.

I muster up a kind half smile half "eat shit" grin as the crazy man starts rambling in Korean to me. Evidently my simple "yes" in Korean meant that I was fluent in his native language. "No-korean" I said over and over again while he just talked and talked as if we were old friends playing catch up. He also had his arm around the passenger seat looking back at me in the back seat while maintaining eye contact during this conversation instead of watching the road. Every so often he would say something that would really crack himself up as I just pitty laughed along. Finally at a very short lull in his nonsensical ramblings I yanked out my ipod craving the escape my music could provide. He then looked back at me again and started singing Korean songs louder and more obnoxious than any human being should be permitted to sing at. Apparently he disapproved of my musical choices and felt the need to entertain me with his. This lasted until I reached my destination (20 minutes later). I felt obligated to tip him, he was very proud of himself. My ears haven't been the same since. I also don't really like Korean music.

Apparently I am failing as an English teacher...

Failure number one:

Jenni Teacher: "Ok, I am going to give you an easy question.... What direction does the rain go??"

Student (in a burst of triumph) "NOUN!!!!!"

Jenni Teacher: "Um, no." (gulp) "Not, even close. We're going to have to work on your English skills."

Failure number two:

In preparation for an upcoming test we were reviewing vocabulary words. Thus the basis for this story.... (the vocab word is LAUNCH)

Jenni Teacher: "Ok, I am thinking of one of your words. It is what an airplane or rocket ship does to go from the ground to the sky....."

Students: ***blank stares as if I barked at them verses speaking a language they are pretty fluent in**

Jenni Teacher: "Ok, how about a clue....."

This in turn excites the comatose Asians in the room as if I am providing them with the answer in lieu of them having to exert any brain power....

Jenni Teacher: "This word is very similar spelling to the word lunch...." (much bigger clue than I anticipated)

One student then went FLYING out of his chair, hands up in the air bouncing like he was shaking a turd out of his pants, claiming he knew the answer to my question but acting like he knew the answer to all of life's unanswered ones.....

"SUPPER" he screamed at the top of his lungs before collapsing in a huff of triumph in his seat. I had nothing to say, I still don't. Supper was not one of our vocab words.