Jeju Island

Three weeks into my job we had one of our two weeks break. Unfortunate timing for me but amazing none the less. A bundle of us from school as well as a smattering of other teachers from schools in the area infiltrated the Jeju Hiking Inn, a delightful shit hole of a hostel where I shared my bed with cockroaches and my bathroom with dark black hair that meant the previous tenant must have been scalped to death in our shower. The hostel made up for it's nastiness by providing it's residents with kind service and free international skyping as long as you can handle the deadly kimchi scent that flowed from the refrigerator like vapors on a path to kill. The hostel had an amazing roof top which provided us with endless drunken encounters and broken seats, safe to say, we were pretty much drunk or sleeping at this place.

Most days were spent on the beach where I was looked at like scum for attempting to sun tan. Koreans fear the sun, in fact they soak themselves in whitening cream in order to resemble the color of zombies. They also designate a very tiny piece of the ocean so their power hungry lifeguards can patrol easier. This meant that any one attempting to swim was going to fight to the death for a piece of the ocean, however said swimmer was also going to contend with each Asian having not only a life preserver but also a flotation device around the mid section and usually holding hands with anyone near them. Needless to say, I stayed on the sand and watched as waves took out hords of swimmers who drowned simply because of overpopulation of the sea. Welcome to Asia.

When we were not at the beach we explored the rest of the island. Jeju is home to the worlds longest lava tube which was awesome. A nice escape from the blistering heat and interesting in the same regard if you are the kind of person who enjoys walking through dark, damp caves, where lava once reigned. I happen to be that person. We also walked/ran through a great human hedge maze, giggling like school girls the entire time trying to beat the person ahead of us while Asians strolled through as if it were a garden walk. They were body checked out of the way. There were also a few gorgeous waterfalls in the area but coming from Oregon, these waterfalls looked like the water was flowing from a bath tub spicket. We found a great market where you could purchase mangos, dragon fruit, pig heads and octopus (dead or alive). The mangos hit the spot, even if they did cost more than my college education.

One day it was declared that a hike was in order to climb to the top of the highest mountain in Korea. 12 miles round trip. Wanting to be a good sport and bond with people I thought to myself "eh, 12 miles will suck but it shouldn't be too bad." WRONG. Taking inventory of my luggage I realized that in lieu of no sports bra I had to climb Mt. Killmenow in my black lacy bra and no knee brace. Thank god I had the good graces to throw in my sneakers. Well as it turns out, whoever built the path to the top of the mountain clearly possessed the ability to fly because this path was the makings of demons. It looked like a rock slide had covered the entire pathway to the top as we bounced from deadly rock to slippery rock. What felt like miles was actually feet as I was passed by 80 year old women who seemed to be dancing up the mountain. Little did they know that I held their capacity of body weight in a single boob as I heaved and breathed my way up the death hill. My group minus two others had long bypassed us as well as Courtney and I sat on the side of the path holding each other and crying. With strong determination, gallons of water, cusses directed at the mountain and it's path maker, we finally made it to the top 5 hours later where any hint of a view was blocked by the clouds. Go figure. Walking down was even harder with a staircase of slippery rocks guiding us to our imminent death. Each step I anticipated by knee buckling and a helicopter coming to our rescue like a mirage in the desert. The scenery on the hike was beautiful, it felt like being in a rain forest but it was clearly not worth it. I couldn't walk for a few days afterwards and I have been suffering from post dramatic stress ever since. I am not even happy I did it. Done bitching. The end.

All over the island are these amazing statues, most made out of the lava rocks. Apparently they are the protectors of the island. Jeju also happens to be the honeymoon destination for Korean lovers. Most stores sell smaller versions of these statues which these couples (and myself) buy. I found out from a Danish lad that if the wife has problems getting pregnant the man will cut the nose off the statue, grind it up and serve it as tea to his reproductively challenged bride (obviously it is the wife who has the problems.) Korean's are obsessed with fertility. I heard too that the bigger a woman's nether region "bush" is, the more fertile she is. Apparently they don't have the same rules in Brazil where they want nothing to do with said bushes. Jeju was a blast overall! Even dealing with Mt. Killmenow, it was well worth it. I can't say that I would honeymoon there but I would consider returning.