Mother of God, they have me teaching gym class!

So, I have officially been "Jenni Teacher" for two days now. Day one I observed two classes in the morning then had my own "second graders" in the afternoon. I am going to put this out there right now for everyone to hear/read/adhere to/ worship/ live/breathe/die for..... I have no plans to ever teach in a classroom with more than 8 kids. Sorry to say that means never returning to the United States. For all you teacher, you know where I am coming from on this. 8 report cards, 8 copies on the xerox, 8 parent teacher conference, 8, ocho, octo, 8. Nuff said. So, I am starting to feel semi good about this whole teaching in Korea business when they inform me that I have a new title, gym teacher. F#*k! Instantly I think of my wardrobe full of dresses, skirts, dress pants, flats, etc. It isn't until I have mentally processed the entire contents of my closet when I realize, how the hell do I teach gym? Luckily I come to find out that gym is only from 10-2 on tuesdays and thursdays. The other days, I am at the disposal of whoever needs me. Whatever, can't be that bad.

WRONG! I got to school today, dressed in some random ensemble of whatever matched my converse sneakers ready to embrace my new classroom gymnasium. I had no idea that gyms came with massive t.v, microphone podiums, plastic houses and tambourines. This will be interesting. The only "gym related" items were a deflated volleyball, dented hula hoops, plastic bats, a balance beam and some soft shapes you can bounce on. John, another teacher who was suckered into teaching gym for a month gave me a few ideas but all I could hear were my thoughts of playing duck duck goose until I get over the jet lag. My first class was a handful of 3 year olds who looked at me like I was some gross substance they saw on the sidewalk when I tried to talk to them. I gave up on the duck duck goose notion and opted for the hokie pokie instead until I get "no teacher, no more hokie pokie." The little shits didn't like my song and dance so I rewarded them with free time since the language barrier at their age is like trying to walk uphill, backwards, on your hands, in the snow. Duck, duck goose worked with the other classes until it turned into "doug, doug, jew." Something else to work on.