Taxi Cab Tales: Part One

Taxi cabs are a main source of transportation here. Not only do they cost mere dollars to ride in but you also enjoy the luxury of sitting in the front seat in order to see the world the way a cab driver does. Now being a foreigner I feel I tend to draw out the minimal English these wonderfully strange cab drivers can speak. These conversations also happen to be some of the more hilarious ones of my time here. I have also finally managed to properly say my address to the drivers after one man took an entire cab ride teaching me the exact phonemic approach "Shin gok ill dong sa muso." That is the extent of my Korean, here is the extent of their English.

#1

Taxi driver: :You American." (again nothing they say sounds like a question, just a simple factual statement meant to be followed up with an answer of sorts)

Me: (Nodding a bit too intensely as to deflect the whiplash I was receiving from his awful driving) "yes I am"

Taxi Driver: "Ahhhhh, you like kimchi."

Me: (gag reflex in place) "No, not yet." (I follow up with a giggle to make sure he understands I don't mean to insult their terd tasting wonder food)

Taxi Driver: "Ahhhhh, Korea like Kimchi, America like butter."

Me: Yup, that about explains it.

He then went into broken record mode for the remainder of the cab ride saying "American butter" over and over again. Kimchi would probably taste worlds better with some butter on it.

#2

Taxi driver: "You so beautiful."

Me: "Oh, thank you so much, you are very nice."

Taxi driver: "You have husband."

Me: "No, I am not married."

Taxi driver: "Ahhh, that very sad. Very sad, no married." (Thanks man, I appreciate the confidence boost)

Me: "Yeah, I guess so."

Then he proceeded to try to hold my hand the rest of the ride. I thought about letting him, just for kicks.

#3

Here I was with two friends who were in the back seat passing condoms between them while we laughed and joked about American verses Korean condom sizes. The cab driver couldn't see the traded contraband but as I started laughing at something he pointed to me and laughed really, really hard. This strange action made us all stop....

Me: "Do you speak English?" (We have all gotten into the bad habit of assuming that outside of school no one understands us)

Taxi driver: Blank stare

Me: Gesture to ear and mouth attempting to gesticulate what I am asking him.

Taxi driver: "No English." Then he goes into Korean mode while pointing to me.

Me: Turning to the girls in the back seat, still giggling about the possibility of overheard conversations. "What is he saying?"

My one friend who knows Korean fairly well figured out that he was laughing at my laugh and said he has never heard such a loud laugh before. Makes me glad that I can introduce Koreans to new things!!